It's hit day 14 and clearly we've hit the doldrums. I ask myself two or three times a day if I have a topic to write about tonight. The Princess wants me to write about Valentine's Day (too soon) or flowers (sure). The Queen wants me to write about the book Allegiant, which I only finished half of because it had to go back to the library. I could write about how mediocre I felt the book was to that point, but that's probably not fair. I also could write about how Veronica Roth is from my hometown, but besides that statement, I have nothing to say.
I think the problem is that while this marathon of writing can get overwhelming for both author and reader -- the stats show that viewership is way down -- the bigger source of writer's block comes when I put off writing something I want to. You must understand, though, that the Queen values her privacy. Any mention of her in my posts generally gets redacted by the editor's pen, and then thrown into the fire. I've lost more good computers that way (and strangely a microwave).
So this post may be seen as one, big red line, but here it goes:
10 Reasons Why I Love My Wife
1.) She lets me go to Gen Con. If you don't know the splendor of Gen Con, then all I can say is that it resembles a 4-day Super Bowl type event for table top gaming. the thing is that she doesn't just let me go year after year, but she endures the residual effect. My brother-in-laws, who also go, and I talk about it a lot. There's planning, reminiscing, and inside jokes that haunt most of our conversations. It's not just 4 days in August, it's a state of mind. And she takes it like a champ.
2.) She cute when she's obsessive. When she gets into a hobby or health faze, she's all in. Right now the Queen likes Young Adult fiction, especially when they have a dystopian bent. In two weeks, she may have read 6,297 YA (as she tells me) books from pretty much anyone who can pick up a pen. Luckily I turned her on to Overdrive, and she just checks out the books via the iPad. Although, I think I caught her yesterday trying to read in the shower.
3.) She changes subjects without warning. One moment we're talking about puppies, and how cute it is when they dream bark, and then she interrupts with a question about if I completed the taxes yet. Then before I can answer, she's wondering if we watched all the Chuck's on Netflix. These types of conversation leaps really keep you on your toes.
4.) She gets obscure television quotes in everyday conversation. I have a horrible habit of remembering a lot of crap, but forgetting things like my own birthday (true story). Most of my memory cells have been claimed by television and movies that I've seen. At any time I can belt out with a "When will Detroit make a sunroof for the husky gentleman?" or "And you want to be my latex salesman?" Sometimes I can even pull a "My mother hit me once...once." and she instantly knows that it's from Johnny Dangerously. She just gets me.
5.) She bought me a Love Händel T-shirt for Disney World. Love Händel is the fictitious band on Phineas and Ferb, which is a cartoon on the Disney Channel. They don't make a Love Händel T-shirt, yet she got one for me. She's a sorceress. A beautiful sorceress.
6.) She stays up late to edit my horrible writing. The only time I can write without being hijacked by a three-year-old Princess is after 10 pm. When I'm finished hen-pecking away my keyboard, usually anywhere between midnight and 1 am, she's right there next to me. I just hand her the keyboard and wait for the "What the hell are you trying to say" questions. Did I ever mention that I can't spell?
7.) She loves bad jokes. Her favorite joke of all time goes like this: A panda walks into a bar, walks up to the bartender, eats a sandwich, shoots the bartender, and walks out. An onlooker turns to his friend and says, "What the hell was that?" His friend says nonchalantly, "He's a panda. He eats, shoots, and leaves." NOTE: By the time you read this, the joke will be corrected since it's a grammar joke.
8.) She's incredibly impatient. I would tell you more, but she wants me to finish so she can go to bed.
9.) She is an overachiever. Job. Check. Working on her PhD. Check. Awesome, involved mom. Check plus! Most of the time she's doing six or seven things at a time, but still makes it look seamless. And when she reads this, she'll just say, "I don't think I do all these well," because that's how she rolls.
10.) It's almost eighteen years since we met, and she's still talking to me. You may not think this constitutes as a big deal, but it does. Most of the time, I am an annoying nerd that speaks in pop culture references from the 1990's. I work from home, rarely shave, and frequently crack my knuckles. Everyday I do something so stupid, that even I am amazed in my feats. Today I threw away my phone in the outside garbage can by mistake, just because, and she found it for me. Tomorrow I may burn down the house by accidentally melting the vacuum cord on the stove, and she will still love me. Her love makes me love her more.
There you have it. As sappy as I get. I wonder if this means I can forget Valentine's Day, because I probably will anyway. Actually I won't. I'll just hide her present in the safest place I can't remember.
Jack Grubb writes an incredible blog, Losing the Internets, which is read by at least 37 people and over 2,100 Russian SPAM bots. In his spare time he helps small companies find their marketing voice. Jack currently lives deliberately in Appalachia, Kentucky with his wife, two daughters, Jack Russell and a Lego collection beyond compare.