From afar it may look like I'm a man of leisure, sipping on mimosas and eating the finest of the mini-tacos. As a celebrity that has 36 Facebook fans AND 27 Twitter followers, I should just sit all day in a hot-tub made of money while servants act out the latest goings on from Yahoo! News. Perhaps as a lark I could hop on my private pterodactyl and fly to have pink champagne brunch with Oprah Winfrey and Bill Gates at the Affluent Country Club and Haberdashery. It's understandable, as us internet bloggers do seem to be an upscale community.
But alas, I must toil away in the workforce as the more attractive part of the proletariat. Day after day I help small businesses grow to unparallelled heights by sitting around and playing on Facebook and Twitter all day. Post post here, tweet tweet there, and possibly a pin on Tuesdays. I also get to perform some complicated analytical computations, but mostly it's social media. And I get to work from home. With a 3-year-old child.
Trying to work with a 3-year-old in the house is like trying to work with a fun ninja. Eating breakfast or cleaning the house and the Princess is content to paint or play with her multitude of Disney crap, but the minute I sit down to parse out a spread sheet -- BAM! -- a little ball of stickiness comes spinning out of nowhere with a box full of Duplos. Play-doh throwing stars shoot out of her sleeves at breakneck pace locking my arms down to the table. Then she goes for the kill with a puppy-dog look and a deck of Go Fish.
I'm powerless to her toddler ways. Like a hypnotized robot (yes, they do exist), I shun my responsibilities to shuttle her to play dates and toy stores. People don't really know how to treat a man with his daughter that is out and about during the mid-morning hours. Real stay-at-home mothers shun me at library story time like I'm a man who may or may not have rented a little girl so I can secretly listen to Horton Hears a Who. Waitresses at restaurants make patronizing remarks about how it must be "Daddy Daughter Day." Don't they know that I'm a hostage that just wants to get things done?
Today I had to update a website, look over twelve months of sales orders and help plan a product launch, but did I get anything accomplished? If you are my client, then yes, yes I did. For anyone else who won't rat me out, then no. I spent the entire day taking the Princess ice skating then out to lunch at Wendy's so she could get her chicken nuggets, apple slices and chocolate milk. Then when I got home and started to type on the computer, she took over and "wrote her blog."
I suppose I shouldn't be such a pushover to the serendipity that is my daughter. And to be perfectly honest, she does let me work uninterrupted until lunchtime every day. I guess the problem I face is that I cannot say no to happiness. The only thing better than playing Fisher Price Little People Princess Castle or making pancakes with the child is cuddling up with the wife and child watching Phineas and Ferb for the umpteenth time. I tried, but I'm powerless to change.
Besides, If it weren't for work, I'd be sleeping from midnight to 3 am every night like a chump.
30 Days of Shameless Self Promotion progress:
Jack Grubb writes an incredible blog, Losing the Internets, which is read by at least 37 people and over 2,100 Russian SPAM bots. In his spare time he helps small companies find their marketing voice. Jack currently lives deliberately in Appalachia, Kentucky with his wife, two daughters, Jack Russell and a Lego collection beyond compare.