I don't accept help well, and I don't know why. It's not a "don't show weakness" thing as I routinely list all the things I do wrong. My pride and ego live in a tiny shoe box located in the upstairs closet, so I know they don't get in the way. I guess I could blame the ingrained stubbornness of American ingenuity, but that seems way too philosophical. I just have trouble with help.
For instance, I could be hauling a player piano up 30 flights of stairs in 105 degree heat. Each step pulls my back further out of alignment, resulting in excruciating pain, and I'm pretty sure I just tore my ACL. On the third flight, a professional piano mover comes up and lets me know that they'll take this behemoth the rest of the way up -- free of charge. I still would say, "No, that's ok, I go this," while mentally highlighting who gets my Bugs Bunny baseball picture in the will.
So when a Friend of the Blog suggested that I run a crowdfunding campaign to "elevate and promote" my writing, I initially blew a mental raspberry. I calculated the numbers, and with web hosting fees, writing conferences to meet agents and publishers, and the mandatory self promotion, I would need around $2,000 to make a go of it. Asking friends, family and strangers for $2,000 made me severely queasy. Like I just drank Christmas eggnog in July queasy.
Then, as I dug through my old Yahoo! archives trying to find an old Interpersonal Communication syllabus, I found an email from 2007. When I served as the executive director of a non-profit college access center, I apparently replied to a board member who showed hesitancy in asking for donations. I wrote:
... I always have trouble seeing donations as means for programming. Instead I see them as investments in family, friends and neighbors. As sparks of encouragement that can change lives. After all, the world is a better place when dreams can come true...
Hating that my own words that contradicted a very eloquent raspberry, and after a scientifically inaccurate Facebook poll, I have started a Go Fund Me page (www.gofundme.com/JackGrubb). The goal is set at an uncomfortable $2,000, which I understand asks a lot. I did set some reward levels, so I can justify this work as transactional. Also, I really want to write a bunch of fake doctor's notes for some fictitious maladies.
What Funds Will Fund
Here's a breakdown of the cost to begin a real writing career:
Thank You in Advance
If you feel moved to contribute to the Go Fund Me Campaign (www.gofundme.com/JackGrubb), let this be the first of a thousands of thanks. I will not let you down -- or maybe I will. I'm not too sure of your disappointment threshold.
If you don't feel the mojo, that's ok. I'm glad you made it down to the bottom of the article and hope you come back. Losing the Internets will always be here and will always be subjectively funny. Just do me a favor, and share the blog on Facebook. Unless you don't want to.
Jack Grubb writes an incredible blog, Losing the Internets, which is read by at least 37 people and over 2,100 Russian SPAM bots. In his spare time he helps small companies find their marketing voice. Jack currently lives deliberately in Appalachia, Kentucky with his wife, two daughters, Jack Russell and a Lego collection beyond compare.