Every Tuesday and Thursday the Princess gets whisked to preschool by the Queen leaving me in a joyfully quiet house. I can collect my thoughts and silently work to my heart's content with only the sounds of my keyboard click-clacking away. Twice a week, from 8:10 to 3:50, I live in a bubble of self-absorption. And I love it.
Except for the days when the Queen cannot take the child and I have to drive. On those days, I gather together my papers, my computer and my headphones and trek the thirty minutes to drop her off at school. To save gas and an hour I then head over to the local McDonald's to partake in a Number 3 meal (steak-ish McMuffin, Deep Fried Cardboard, and a large coffee), log into the free wi-fi, and plug in my headphones. For seven hours I type away to the sounds of my iTunes account and the glares of annoyed fast food workers.
But last Thursday I forgot my headphones and I subjected myself to the chatter of all the groups that inhabited the booth behind me. Lewis Black has a comedy bit about how unusual snippets of a conversation can eat your brain (see it here), and now I truly understand from where brain aneurysms come. The amount of disorienting statements that burrowed themselves under my hippocampus has been staggering. Five days later and I still mull over their meaning. It's a miracle I'm still alive.
What did I hear? I'll tell you, but be sure that you have excellent catastrophic event insurance.
I didn't get much done on Thursday, but on the upside I am meeting a nice doctor this week to go over treatment options. I'm confident that by next month I will use my fork independently again.
P.S. I did not embed the Lewis Black video not because I don't know how, but because it contains some language not fit for school. Click on the link at your own peril, but the guy can throw around a pretty mean adverb.
Jack Grubb writes an incredible blog, Losing the Internets, which is read by at least 37 people and over 2,100 Russian SPAM bots. In his spare time he helps small companies find their marketing voice. Jack currently lives deliberately in Appalachia, Kentucky with his wife, two daughters, Jack Russell and a Lego collection beyond compare.