It's hit day 14 and clearly we've hit the doldrums. I ask myself two or three times a day if I have a topic to write about tonight. The Princess wants me to write about Valentine's Day (too soon) or flowers (sure). The Queen wants me to write about the book Allegiant, which I only finished half of because it had to go back to the library. I could write about how mediocre I felt the book was to that point, but that's probably not fair. I also could write about how Veronica Roth is from my hometown, but besides that statement, I have nothing to say.
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If you have ever lived with a three-year-old child, then you know that they spend most of the day agonizing about getting things perfect. They'll melt down because Rapunzel's crown doesn't sit on top of her head at just the right angle, or the Sesame Street episode doesn't feature enough Ernie and Bert. I once had thirty minute conversation with my Princess assuring her that it's OK that she spilled water on her dress, because water dries and no one should strip off their clothes in the middle of Bob Evans.
Back in the pre-internet dark ages, like in 1987, Big Business ruled everything. Books came from major publishers, movies from a film studio and music from record labels. Basically if some suit didn't like what an artist was peddling, you weren't ever going to see it. Sure, different corporations had different tastes, but they still held the keys to commercial success. Without their approval, your work never even existed.
Yesterday I broke out the heartfelt post that described my more sentimental side. I think those types of cathartic outbursts have some importance to developing a full picture of my character. Without some sappiness to add a "human" element, I could come off as some d-bag who has to tear down everything society holds dear. Someone who roots for Darth Vader to finally end those rebellious scallywags and their hippy ways.
Ever since I turned thirteen I wanted to be a writer. The idea of crafting worlds for others to enjoy seemed like a fantastic idea and a terrific creative outlet for someone who couldn't sing, act or paint. I spent most of my childhood making up characters that I could become or devising make believe obstacles that I needed to overcome. However, I couldn't spell worth a damn and hand writing one page took almost an entire hour, so writing anything of value took so much concentration and time that I always stopped after a few paragraphs.
As I look out of my bedroom window, all I see is dark. It's 10:35 and I live adjacent to a corn field. However, if it had been six hours or so earlier, or a full moon, I would see a world awash in white. The snow rages on, and on, and on without an end in sight. And accompanying that snow, like some goth chick's sullen friend, is cold. Damn cold. So cold that penguins have actually acquired the ability to fly so they could escape to a more southern climate.
I want to go on record to say that most of the time the Princess acts like an adorable, sweet girl. I routinely get compliments on her manners when I take her to the library or store. Her teachers at school tell the Queen and I that she mostly works well with others and respects personal boundaries. Even when disappointments do happen like school being closed because of snow, she tends to absorb the news, process it, then find something else to do. Frankly, if she didn't act kind and friendly the majority of the time, she would never be allowed to call herself Princess. She would instead be referred to as inmate 001.
From afar it may look like I'm a man of leisure, sipping on mimosas and eating the finest of the mini-tacos. As a celebrity that has 36 Facebook fans AND 27 Twitter followers, I should just sit all day in a hot-tub made of money while servants act out the latest goings on from Yahoo! News. Perhaps as a lark I could hop on my private pterodactyl and fly to have pink champagne brunch with Oprah Winfrey and Bill Gates at the Affluent Country Club and Haberdashery. It's understandable, as us internet bloggers do seem to be an upscale community.
Today the Queen and I woke up, dressed the Princess, fed the Princess, dropped the Princess off at pre-school, and promptly went to the nearest movie theater to see Disney's Frozen. The movie rocked my socks and I urge everyone with eyeballs to go to the nearest cinema right now and demand to see it. It's best if you all organize and go out angry mob style, as angry mobs seem to get crap done. However, according to Fandango, there's plenty of theaters showing Frozen at a plethora of show times, so an angry mob probably isn't necessary. You all could car pool. It's not angry, but it would help save Mother Earth or something.
If you read this and happen to live in the Midwest or East Coast, you have probably lived through 15,287 inches of snow in the past nine weeks. This in itself isn't much of a problem, but combine massive snow with sub-arctic temperatures, and you have the equivalent of the ice planet Hoth. For those who live in warmer climates and never experienced these conditions, please go move all those hippy frozen organic eggplants out of your freezer and pop a squat for about 10 hours. This won't really give you an accurate idea of what we're going through, but it will make all of us at Ice Station Zero feel much better.
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AuthorJack Grubb writes an incredible blog, Losing the Internets, which is read by at least 37 people and over 2,100 Russian SPAM bots. In his spare time he helps small companies find their marketing voice. Jack currently lives deliberately in Appalachia, Kentucky with his wife, two daughters, Jack Russell and a Lego collection beyond compare. ArchivesCategories |
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